I can't believe I am doing this but yes - a post without a picture.
I have been spending a lot of time getting ready for CHA .
Working on some things I am not ready to show yet.
I have also been spending a lot of time learning Adobe photoshop elements.
Now if you have been readin my blog for any amount of time you
know that this is nit easy for me, I find it tedious and boring.
I would rather do things IRL (in real life!)!!!
And I am dragging to top it off with a sinus infection.
Good news is I should be better soon, I did get an allergy shot
and antibiotics it's just right now I am super tired. And off... and s-l-o-w.
ugggh I hate being sick. This girl is going to bed!
Hope you all are well!
First of all let me just say ya'll (yeah I live in TX) are so SO unpredictable!
So I got tons of private messagesin response to the post I left on Friday.
I saw that many of you even shared Fridays post on your FB - that was an unexpected surprise.
Which just goes to show you can't judge a post by the comments left behind.
So I just wanted to tell you thank you for doing that.
*** This pic of baby girl (obviously) is a few years old and I love it even though she looks so sad.
Her big brother had been pulling her in a wagon that she loved and she stood up and...
oh yeah, face first, she hit the ground, her bangs are covering a lot of it -
this picture was actually a few days later.
She really heals quite fast and it left no scars which is amazing considering the road rash she had.
She was so sad - she didn't cry, she just walked around like this for about a week.
Her big brother felt horrible about it.
I was thinking that's how we are you know - our outside may look we are fine, or on the mend...
but on the inside we are may still healing, trying to recovery from hurt and trauma (or drama).
And you know what I think that's OK. I think God knows what we need when we need it.
There are many examples of people grieving in the bible that turn around and do great things for God. Nehemiah for example, cried for days, grieved for God's people and cried out to God. Then he turned grieving into prayer, praise, thanksgiving and then God used Him to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem.
Which makes me think of a few things -
*One - you never know if the person you are dealing with is just barely keeping it together, trying to recover from previous hurt or trauma. So we need to be kind to others.
*Two- if you are on the one trying to keep it together because you are on the mend, give your self a break- it's OK to take time to heal . *You are amazing and special and different - there is no one exactly like you, and there is a purpose for your life - so you cant stay in the trauma mode you must move on to discover God's will for your life !
Because I am sure it's AWESOME!
Paper - DCWV Always and Forever Stack,
Pink Paislee Artisan Elements,
Blue Fern Chipboard,
KI Memories chipboard alphas,
Faber-Castell Design Memory Craft
Gelatos, Gesso, Gel Medium and PITT Artist Pen
Tombow Stamp Runner
covered the alphas and chipboard swirl with Gesso. When it was dry I
glued them onto the page. I used dark to light blue Gelatos and a
dry sponge to blend the entire page. ( I have step out pictures.) I
dyed the flowers by mixing Gelatos with water on a non stick mat and
painting the flowers.
I don't know about you but this has been one of the longest busiest weeks ever!
And it wasn't even anything fun like vacation` just a bunch of commitments and appointments that ended up on the same week. So I have had absolutely no creative time in the studio all week! (boo!)
So I searched and found this file form a while back that I wasn't sure I shared before.
I made it for my firstborn on her birthday a while back.
( I did look back to see if I posted this before and I could not find so I went ahead and posted it now.)
It started off with this wooden box- which was lovely, hubby got it for free
but it is a wine box and we don't drink. I knew I wanted to cover
it, so I started with a drawing on watercolor paper.
Blending and shading...
Adding lots of color...
As my children get older I want them to pay attention so this was the
perfect quote from Kellie Rae Roberts. "The Beauty of life lives inside the smallest of moments- pay attention!"
One of the things on my schedule this week was helping out in the kids school.
I helped out in several classes - not just with my kiddos classes and one was the special ed class class.
It was hard and mind you, I have three special needs kids.
I did not sign up for that class and when I walked in she said " I didn't sign up for parent volunteers..."
and it was awkward for a moment but she looked at my paper and sure enough there it was
on my paper... assigned..
So she said "well as long as you're here..."
And I was uncomfortable at first - not because of the kids- because of the flood of memories of what
we have been through with our son and some of these children have to live everyday.
It was heartbreaking to me. Because even the simple tasks are so difficult.One of the kids I was working with had to work so hard just to write letters on the paper - he would try to quit after a few letters and we had to keep encouraging him to keep him on task. You could tell it was difficult to form the letters, to hold the paper and the pencil- as a mom not to take over because you know they need to do it for themselves but it's so hard! But he finally did it and all the teachers and I praised him and he beamed! His smile lit up his beautiful face, it was so, so sweet I almost lost it right there.
And that's when it hit me. I remembered those days when we celebrated even the tiniest victories -
In 2010 one of our kids had a reaction to a medication and was diagnosed with Tardive Dyskinesiathey said it was permanent. If you are not familiar this is a scary thing - for our little guy it not only meant he went from a physically thriving 8 year old to - catatonic states to sudden outbursts of rage, high pitch noises and grunts instead of words, learning to read, write, and use sentences all over again, constant drooling , food coming out of his mouth when we would try to feed him) Yes he could not feed himself anymore).
Not to mention tremors, tics and odd movements.
It was not that long when we celebrated every tiniest victory!
because to you and me they might seem small, but for someone like my son they are
And they still are - if we pay attention to them.
I think that was a divine appointment.
A wake up call to celebrate TODAY.
And those tiny victories add up!
While I was busy looking at my current situation with my mom I forgot to give God glory for my son who only three years later does almost everything a "normal" 5th grader can do! He just learned how to read again last year and this year he is in regular classroom and performing at grade level for most of his subjects! He works very hard at what comes easily to others but God has given him a strong will and determination. I just can't even begin to tell you all that is involved with this child and this miraculous recovery
We still see residual side effects like slight tremors in his hands and there may be an outburst here and there but overall if you did not know this had happened to him- you would never know by looking at him today.
Can you hear me singing "look what the Lord has done?"...
So yes I may have those setbacks, but those sweet kids reminded of another quote
"Enjoy the little things,you may look back and realize they were the big things."
I hope that after you read this post you will take the time to stop
and enjoy the little moments and little victories in your life as well.
Hey sweet friends - first thank thank you for all your kind
sweet thoughts. (See previous post) I appreciate you so much more than
you will ever know.
I am so sad that so many of you are going through
That being said with all the
frustration and sadness it would be so nice to celebrate life.
the honors I have is working with youth and some of those “youth”
are growing up and having their own children now. This beautiful baby
was born to one of my girls and this is and album I made for her.
I used the Freshly Picked stack from DCWV.
I am so proud of this little mama- of course I was proud of her before she was a little mama.
Look at that beautiful baby & mama!
Did I mention mama is a twin and baby girl is named after her auntie? I miss these girls so much.
This baby is so blessed!
The only bummer is they are in a different state or I would surely be over
there holding this little sweet pumpkin every chance I get! For now I have to settle for pictures :(
Look at that cute little lips - and I don't know why
but I love this crying photo, she was mad, mad mad!
And yet- totally adorable I love it..
This is the back cover to the book.
Here is a little matching box that housed some other goodies.
I am struggling a bit- I started the week off good-
I did - I was so busy, working on lots of different artwork including this one.
Then stuff happened with my mom.
As you know she is in assisted living and has Alzheimer's & Dementia.
I would like to say that knowing that she is safe is enough but it is not.
I have yet to get myself to a place where I can stop internalizing
the hateful things she says, the stress and guilt trips she puts me through -
even I know that is not her it is hard not to let it get to me.
We had a very rough visit on Friday, on the way back to her home she yelled at me for over
a half an hour because "there is nothing wrong with her", she doesn't remember why she is "that place", she does not want me to take her back and she wants me to buy her plane tickets to CA right now! I kept my cool and I reminded her in a very calm and quiet voice that she is yelling and the kids are in the car and we could discuss this later without the kids.
She just got louder and said she would not stop screaming unless I took her to the airport right now! She repeated this over and over (and some other ugly things I won't repeat)-
I only told here this twice and stopped talking because
I knew it would not do any good; the kids were silent the entire time.
I took her straight back home, she didn't a word as we walked her to her room.
I told the kids to say goodbye and we left. I was shaking.
Not even a half an hour later she calls and I don't answer- I am still reeling, my head hurts,
and I have had enough. Seriously with this disease and these type of visits I understand why relationships are strained and people do not visit their loved ones. It is very difficult to be around people who are so negative, mean and rude I pray that it wont always be like this - some people with this disease are not like this. She made me so angry I did not want to go back...EVER, I knew it was unrealistic but I thought it, even if just for a moment (or two).
And here she is calling me like it never happened (because in her mind it didn't!) saying she needs to run up to the store and could I come by when I get the chance.
I painted this instead.
I noticed many times whats going with me personally reflects in my work.
And this was the biggest piece I was working this week and even though is stuff with my mom is hard there is truly nothing I can do about it. So I pray and I draw, and I paint.
And God gives me peace to let it go. And I share.
It's a good process I think.
It was pretty intense so I have only one in process picture.
Then it became like therapy - I was in the zone.
I did play with a little editing though.
Funny how a color changes the whole feel of a piece son't you think?