Scraptoberfest part 6! (closed)

Ahhh.. the scraptoberfest continues! Another layout with the "Loss" theme.
This layout was featured on the Good Grief Blog on Friday. Another layout dedicated to my "Abuela" (grandmother) from the "loss" kit at Scrapbooking from the Inside out".

But where is the journaling you ask?? See that little tab sticking out behind the photo on the right? Yes the one with the cute corners punched out? That's the hidden journaling!

I don't usually hide my journaling because I like to be able to put my layouts in books and not be handled too much. If it's too personal or it just didn't "fit" on on the page I will hide it. If you are wondering how to look at it in a book, I simply cut a slit in the page protector. This wasn't too personal but I was going for a certain look so I put it on the side, maybe you have dealt with Alzheimer's and can relate? It reads...
I was in High School when it started. The woman who had helped raise me was often lost and calling because she could not figure out how she got wherever she was. I remember listening to my mom trying to calm her down and have her look at street signs or ask people who were in the vicinity to tell her where she was at so we could find her. It got so bad that my mom finally broke down and moved her with us. We know now that moving her from her familiar surroundings is really bad for someone with Alzheimer’s but she didn’t have a diagnosis at the time.

I hated when my mom left us alone with her – she would get so nervous. One of the last memories I have of her was her trying to escape and my brother and I trying to calm her down and not let her leave while my other brother had my mom on the phone. She was crying and kept saying “This is not my home!” It wasn’t long before my mom had no other choice but to put her in a home.

We all hated it, hated seeing her there, watching her quickly go downhill. It was so hard to see her there, sometimes she would call me by my mom’s name and sometimes she didn’t recognize me at all. I would get so mad because it didn’t seem fair. Alzheimer’s is awful, sometimes I would look and her eyes and could tell that she was trying to tell me something but the words just wouldn’t come out right and it didn’t make sense. I could tell she was very frustrated. I was very frustrated. I missed the woman that she was. I missed her stories and her laughter. I hated the fact that she could not go to my wedding or ever meet my kids. She passed away when my oldest was born.

Well Abuela, I miss you terribly, but I am glad you are finally home. I know that you would have enjoyed your great grandchildren, you loved kids. Even your darkest hours you knew that this was not your home and I am ok with that. I know that I will see you again one day and you will tell me your stories and we will laugh together again.

See that little sewing machine? I have had that in front of my scrappy space for a long time. It reminds me of the sewing machine my grandmother used, she was a seamstress. I still have her favorite pinking shears on my counter. I knew that one day I would use that sewing machine on a layout.
See the sewing(purple thread?) on the lace? I am NOT a seamstress, never really learned (that's another story) but I did that in honor of my Abuela. ;)
This is not my Home" Contents
* LYB Autumn Bliss Autumn Stripe w/thermography
* LYB Autumn Bliss Multi Geometric w/thermography
* LYB Autumn Bliss Clear Cut Frames, 2 pcs.
* 7 Gypsies Barcelona Terrassa
* 7 Gypsies Barcelona Sabadell
* Core'dinations Cardstock Purple Granduer
* Core'dinations Cardstock Rich Amber
* Scenic Route Happy Valley Dark Orange Alpha Stickers
Prima flowers and flourish
7 Gypsies sewing machine
Spare Parts Ribbon

* These are products from the Loss kit at Scrapbooking From the Inside Out.
Don't forget to enter my contest!!!!
Have you done a "loss" layout yet? I'd like to see it, leave me a link!

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