The Ugly Truth

So this is the last post before I have surgery tomorrow - thank you for those who have been praying and well wishers. If I don't post for a while it's because I am taking "time off" to heal. Hopefully it will be quick and I will back to doing what I usually do. (You know scrapbooking!) If you don't know I have de Quervain's tenosynovitis and with this surgery I am hoping to be pain free!

And you know I could not leave you without a layout.
Pattern paper: Cosmo Cricket, Creative Imaginations and Bisous. Flocked paper: 7 Gypsies. Cardstock: American crafts.Bling: Hero Arts, Kaisercraft and Zeva Creative. Pearls: Kaisercraft and Spare Parts.Metal Tag : Making Memories. 4 Plastic heart buttons Hobby Lobby. Chipboard: Technique Tuesday. Flowers Prima, Bazzil and Imaginisce. Lace: Websters. Rub On: Jenni Bolin and K&CO.

The Safety Pin, Twine, Round Button, Little Frame, Metal Heart, Pearl Stick Pins are leftover items from my stash.

Items I used to alter the papers: Stamps: Autumn Leaves. Chalks & Stencils: Pebbles Inc. Ink: Colorbox, Dew Drop and Versa Color. Moon Glow’s Glitz Spritz and Starburst Spray (Golden Pumpkin and Red Hot Poker Orange - love this stuff))Bling was altered with Alcohol Inks by Ranger.

*The paper in that makes the corner is the 7 gypsies and was brown with teal flocking! (leftover form my scrapbooking from the Inside Out Kit!) I didn't want to use another color but I loved the paper so I changed it by rubbing brown and orange ink over the flocked paper.

This WAS plain cardstock- I printed the journaling, stamped and inked the edges and chalked the all the details. (I am loving chalks lately!)

This journal challenge was to include the words "If I could change one thing about myself..."

Journal ( just in case you can’t read it): The ugly truth

I started out writing this about my weight. I can just picture thinking “yeah, me too!” The more I thought about it it’s not really my weight that is the issue; it is how I perceive myself. From the 9Th grade through college I weighed 95 pounds; I was always paranoid about my weight. According to my mother I was either “too skinny” or “gaining too much weight” - I always weighed 95lbs. I never wore tank tops or clothes that showed too much because I was always so self conscious.

As an adult I still carry these thoughts with me. I had two pregnancies but I have less than a handful of photos. I hated being “fat”, I did not allow anyone to take pictures; I regret that now. I realize that this battle is ongoing within me. I weigh more now than I ever have (except for being pregnant) and it still bothers me. Do you know how much I weigh? I weigh between 135-140 pounds, it fluctuates. I am 5ft and ½ inch tall, for my age, that’s really not so bad. I have to remind myself daily that this is how I was made and it is OK. I have two daughters and continually remind them that they are beautiful just the way that they are. I will not allow them to struggle with this issue like I did. We were wonderfully and beautifully made by God. If I could change one thing about myself it would be my perception of myself. I would love to not care about the way that I look because I know in my heart that I was beautifully and wonderfully made.

The small details...

Well think of me tomorrow and leave me a comment - I may not be able to type but I'm sure I'll be able to read! ((hugs)) to my friends and here's hoping for a pain free future!

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