Anyone who knows me knows that I have many aquiantences and few friends. Oh don't get me wrong I just think that a friend is a special relationship that happens between two people and true friends are blessings that don't come along every day.
One of my favorite quotes is from Charles Swindoll "I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy."
Over at Scrapbooking from the inside out a challenge was:
"Dreams are one way that our subconscious communicates with us about hopes that may be buried deep and hidden from our conscious selves. Have you had a dream that 'spoke' to you about something in your life that you thought had been resolved, or about something with which you weren't outwardly struggling? What did you learn about your real hopes? And did it change anything you did in real life? Please create a LO on this topic."
I had to think about this and then I had a dream...( I feel like MLK saying that phrase!) Well this is the result of that dream...
Here is the hidden journaling :
Saturday night (May 23rd, 2009) I had a dream that a lady at church came up to me so excited to tell me that she met a friend of mine. She was talking about all the great stories she shared and all the fun we used to have and she said that Menya wanted her to give me great big hug for her and to tell me that she missed me. She hugged me and I lost it completely. While she continued to ramble on about my friend I thought, surely she knows that my friend has passed away. This is a very sweet woman and surely she does not mean to hurt me by saying these things. Finally she stops talking; noticing that I am crying says “what’s the matter honey?” I tell her that she must be mistaken because my friend passed away and for a second I thought, did I just say that? What if I am wrong and the funeral I attended was really a nightmare – am I losing it? She looked devastated and said “Honey I am so sorry, I was talking about her daughter, lil’ Menya.” And I woke up sobbing.
Why is it that when you think you have healed from something it comes back again to open your wounds? My dear friend passed away suddenly a year ago January. It was unexpected and it all happened so fast; I did get to see her before she passed. For the past two days I’ve been thinking “why”. Why did I have that dream? Why does it feel like I’m grieving all over again? I did scrapbook about what happened, so why don’t I feel any better? I am mourning all over again! I hate feeling like this because I know she is in a better place, with no more pain or suffering. And then it hit me – I did journal what happened, but at the time I could not journal what I felt. I was in shock – we all were.
So for my friend…whom I loved.
Menya was the kind of friend that we could not talk for months and when we did see each other again it was like we were never apart. We did not need to talk everyday- we lived in different states. When we met we lived in Cali, (15 years ago?) we were on the worship team and sang together for 6 years. When we moved out of state, she and her husband helped us move. We visited each other on occasion, and we would laugh so hard we would cry.
She was a Godly woman, full of wisdom and when she gave advice I listened. As we grew older the years between us became smaller and sometimes we found spiritually, that we were in the same place. She understood and loved my children as I love hers. When I would second guess myself she told me that I was doing the right thing and that God would say to me one day “Well done good and faithful servant”. When others second guessed me or my parenting – she told me not to listen to them, “you are doing a good job, and God gave that child to you, He is in control.”
She was an amazing singer, she could sing any part she inspired me to do the same. She was an amazing speaker and teacher. We held conferences for youth for years and we would always ask her to come and speak – she was awesome and she was purpose driven, I knew if I couldn’t get her to take a break in her schedule I could get her to come out and speak! The preaching was directed at the kids but the other youth other workers would sit in and we always learned so much; she was so inspiring. She could make you laugh, cry, think and even repent!
She was always honest with me, in love; she knew how to tell you something (even if it was bad) yet encourage you at the same time. She knew scripture like nobody’s business. I can’t ever remember a thing; I always have to go back and check my bible! She was always teaching or taking a class, she loved to learn. She led a very full life, some very, very painful and some full of joy! She was beautiful inside and out. I was so blessed to be a part of her life and I miss her desperately. May 26, 2009
“I hold on to this hope and the promise that He brings. That there will be a place with no more suffering. There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears. There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more we'll see Jesus face to face.”
( from the song "There will be a day" by Jeremy Camp)
Thanks for letting me share my friend with you.
Labels: friends, SFTIO