Motherhood


Today I homeschooled my 6 year old for the first time. Suprisingly it went alot like homework. This was something I thought I would not be doing again- at least not for elementary school. I homeschooled the older kids for years but he is the one who needs the social aspect of school! This is a compromise with the school, and I feel it is the best thing for my little guy. I want him to love learning, not be frustrated by it. So it was the right descision to make for now. At least there's only for ten more weeks of school.

I was feeling like supermom when I told him - he has hated school all year long. School is very difficult for him and I don't think his teacher was a good match for him. After months of trying different things I had finally had enough and decided it would be best to pull out at least part time and teach the core subjects at home. He goes to school in the afternoon for music, P.E., computers, library, one on one tutoring in math and reading, and a social skills class.
It took two days to try to get him to hear me as I tried to talk to him about the changes that we were going to make for school. If I even mentioned the word school he would get hysterical, crying he did not want to go back. Well when I finally got him to understand that he would not go back to that class after spring break he was so happy! He wrapped his arms around me and exclaimed "oh thank you mom, I love you!" He was so happy! I felt good about our solution.

That same day the pedal somehow fell off his bike and I was able to screw it back on - again he was estatic!I was feeling pretty good!
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This picture is not fabulous but in "mommy mode" I felt it appropriate. My other little guy has had night terrors on and off for years, he is only five. Lately they have become very frequent; so much so that even during the day he is terrified of the"bad guys" that are coming to get him. When he wakes he is soaked in a cold sweat, he is shaking and still sees the "bad guys". We have been so exhausted that we finally gave in and made him a bed in our room. When these things happen it's like he doesn't even see us, he is terrified and it breaks my heart. I want him to know that we are here for him, that we will protect him, that he is safe. Iwish that I could take away the fear. the journaling on this page reads---------------------------------------
"And I'll be by your side wherever you fall, in the dead of night whenever you call.
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you. My hands are holding you.
I love you, I want you to know, that I will never let you go." ------------------------
It came from my favorite song right now "By your side" by 10th Ave North. The lyrics are so powerful I had to share them with you. I would like to use these again, the whole song for another layout because it really ministers to me.------------------------------------------
"BY YOUR SIDE" 10th AVE NORTH
Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying, let me lift up your face,
just don't turn away.
Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child?
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?
And I'll be by your side wherever you fall
in the dead of night, whenever you call.
And please don't fight these hands that are holding you.
My hands are holding you.
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
when I drank the world's sin, So I could carry you in
and give you life. I want to give you life
(Chorus 2x)Cause I, I love you
I want you to know. That I, I love you
I'll never let you go.----------------------------------
Pretty cool huh? have a blessed day!

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